seriously thinking about just abandoning this blog since I only come here when I’m a sad poop
I’m trying to become a more positive person all around so it’d probably be for the best
I’ve been thinking about someone I used to be friends with a lot lately
our friendship was never perfect and we hit a lot of rough spots, and to be honest I feel like our personalities just aren’t compatible at all, but nonetheless I still care about her
I haven’t heard from her in ages now and I have no idea where she is or how to contact her, but I really wish I could at least finally say what I need to stay to her to get some closure or something
I don’t know
I apologize to anyone that I’ve pushed away or if I made you feel unwanted
chances are I care a lot about you and wish we could have been better friends
I am an extremely paranoid and insecure individual and I find closeness both terrifying and impossible in most cases
you know what? it’s not okay.
I’m done putting effort forth where I don’t get the same amount in return.
i don’t have friends anymore
I just dreamt that I was hanging out with Dave, and he handed me some letters which were a conversation between him and his ex, since he thought I should read it.
I’m thinking about starting another blog that’s just for POSITIVE stuff since this blog is just where I dump all my whining and moaning and where I type up the weird dreams I have
and I dunno, it just feels like I should keep the two things separate, like this blog has been tainted or something
I’ll be pretty busy for the next two weeks though, so it might be a while before I put this plan into action
I feel like kind of a jerk because I want to make new friends but then I also don’t because most people who I try to befriend end up annoying me a lot
but I mean, if you’re self-aware and try to be a decent person, there’s a 100% chance I won’t find you annoying - it’s just that most people aren’t/don’t
but I’m also stupid because there are some people I like a lot but I’m terrified of talking to them because I think I’m annoying and I’ll just make them hate me
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